The subtitle to the book As Long as You Sing, I?ll Dance that I recently had the pleasure of reading is: The bond not the burden?the blessing of reciprocal caregiving. The book was written by Julia Soto Lebentritt, a local ??lullabologist?, eldercare case manager, bereavement facilitator and therapeutic activities director. In case you are wondering what a lullabologist does? it is someone who studies ?the role of lullabies and musical communications in the transitional passages of a person?s life.?
Julia has written a lovely book that challenges us in a culture where aging is an inconvenience and caregiving for the aged is avoided by most and dreaded by many.What Julia proposes is a ?revolutionary approach for caregivers of ?people with dementia,?.a plan for both the care recipient and the caregiver.?
The book begins with ?Following the Thread of Our Mother?s Joyful Caregiving?. She says, ?Attachment begins with something that connects us.? ?In the womb we hear our own heartbeat echoed by our mother?s, she describes the womb as a ?placental palace? providing a ?humming and singing entity full of safety.? Lullabies function to sustain the safe attachment; their ritual, song and singing voice provide certainty and predictability.
Julia was part of a project called appropriately ?The Lullaby Project? taping caregivers singing to children, some traditional songs passed down through generations. She saw the power of these songs to bring calm and connection.
While working with persons with Alzheimer?s and dementia she developed a ?special approach to care and management, reciprocal caregiving.? It ?evokes caregiver?s past experiences as children and/or caregivers of children to transfer a way of understanding and approaching caregiving.?
I love that it taps into the hard-wired parts of the brain ?via musical communications; visual images and visualizations; sense of home and safety; nature; facial expressions; touch; rhythmic movements, singing, and drumming.? I grew up in a musical house; my mother loved classical music and polkas and I know she sang to me when I was a baby because she helped me with my children and she sang the same songs to them. I made sure as she lay dying she had beautiful music, she called her angel music, playing. In the home I grew up in, we all played a musical instrument. My home is a musical home; we all play an instrument and some type of music plays much of the time. During our sons? teen years music was often the only thing that kept us connected. My husband treasures his iPod because it holds in one small place the thing he loves so much, his music. I have more than once promised him I will always be sure he has his music close to him no matter what and I know he takes great comfort in that.
So it was with great joy I read the chapters in this book with titles like ?Humming: Meaningful murmurs of living? ,?Communications of love: touching is singing is dancing?, and ?Finding home in lullabies: the longing for someone somewhere.? This book gives practical advice on how to bring the power of song, music, dance and stories to those in our care. The stories of the people Julia has cared for and known, including her own mother, bring the different techniques alive. It is a book that lightens your heart and asks us just to shift our perspective a little to the left and/or right when we think of caregiving. It encourages deep compassion and open heartedness.
For information on this book and Julia?s Spontaneous Care Communications you can go to her website: www.reciprocalcare.com
As we move through this world, there is so much that can cause sadness and suffering. This book gives us a gentle and peaceful path to caring for each other.
A lullaby is like a wave?
Like a thought?
If you?re very peaceful?
You can send your peace?
Through the sounds?
To other people?
May all beings be at ease.
Lenore ?Flynn teaches mindfulness in Albany;
for information about her programs go to www.solidgroundny.org
Source: http://blog.timesunion.com/holistichealth/as-long-as-you-sing-ill-dance/9879/
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