a little lipstick.: long distance relationships: why the epithet ...

Today it has been 3 years, 3 months and 3 weeks since I officially entered in to a relationship with my partner, after around six months or so of chasing after each other, chatting online and meeting in person. It has also been 34 days since we've last seen each other in person and around 2 months or so since we have spent a full weekend together, away from everybody else. You might say that my relationship revolves around counting, numbers and dates and you wouldn't be far wrong. You see, I went in to this aware that we were hundreds of miles apart - at the time, I was residing in Teesside whilst Luke studied at Cambridge. When I moved to Liverpool, Luke hopped off to London. Time and circumstance has long since prevailed in getting between us, but it was something we were prepared to accept and have been fitting in visits and plans around studies, jobs and separate interests ever since. And you know, I wouldn't change the time and effort spent, for the world.I've been asked numerous times 'Why bother?', or have been told 'Oh, so you're in a long distance relationship, then' if asked my status. When you're existing under such circumstances you cannot get away from the epithet of 'long distance' because it becomes such a huge factor to orbit around. Your relationship suddenly isn't just a relationship, but is something controlled by an extraneous factor that cannot be ignored. I googled the term in preparation to write this post and found myself crossing all the pages I'd clicked off in anger because titles such as 'Tips for Survival' were intermingled with shoddy advice. I'm not going to tell you that it's easy, it's hard.?This isn't about survival though, it's about commitment and communication. It's about trusting your own instincts and doing what feels best for you and your partner, no website can tell you that.?It's an annoyance when you're having to spend so much time away from the person you love and it can be a financial strain when it comes to travel, and making up for lost time with days out and dates. The times when all you need is a cuddle and a physical presence around but can't have that is upsetting and frustrating, but it's sadly one of those things. You take the best with the worst.?It's not simple, and it's very much something to contend with but I don't think you can prepare anyone by handing them 'tips to 'survive.'

I'm not going to patronise by providing anyone who is in such a relationship with advice, or give all those considering looking further afield for love some solid tips but what I do want to say is to enjoy yourself. If you can't be together use the time to do the things you love doing, see the people you adore and take time to enjoy your own company. Living separately doesn't mean you're necessarily alone, entering this relationship is one of the best decisions I've ever made and not once has it made me feel by myself. I might be over 200 miles away from Luke on a daily basis but I have an abundance of texts, phone chats, Skype calls and letters to remind me that he's there for me, and I him. We may not be able to spend each day together but we have a super weekend trip in London planned for this week and I've been crossing off the days in excitement for when we reunite at the station. It's about keeping your eyes on what's good. In a world where it's so easy to communicate, to capture pictures and to travel with ease there's no need to think it's difficult to maintain a relationship, be you 1, 10 or 1000 miles apart. It's not the easiest thing in the world, but if you love someone I'm prepared to bet you'd travel any distance to spend time together.

In fact, one of my favourite things about my relationship is that over three years down the line, I still get a little smile on my face when my phone vibrates. I can still feel my stomach fluttering when he steps on to the platform, and I still get tearful when we say goodbye. All of those things to me, are a marker of why this is all worth it and I'll remember and appreciate the little things forever, especially when the time comes for the 'long distance' part of us to come to a close. And who knows when that day will be?

In the run up to Valentine's day I just wanted to talk about something I feel strongly about - that distance holds no bounds. I myself am not a celebrator, nor do I exchange gifts or cards around this time, but that's not to say I rubbish the niceties such a holiday can bring. I feel so strongly now, about doing the things that make you happy and I want to put it here in black and white, that Luke makes me happy when he's beside me, and when he's at the opposite end of the country, and that is why I bother.

Thank you for reading my ever-emotional ramble.

Source: http://jadestobbs.blogspot.com/2012/02/long-distance-relationships-why-epithet.html

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Source: http://alysonstonerr.posterous.com/a-little-lipstick-long-distance-relationships

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